Life in bite size.

      In class today, we had a birthday party. Unlike the usual parties where there’d be a huge cake, Cara’s mom brought a cupcake tree. Each cupcake was decorated with a swirl of brightly colored frosting and topped with a sugar Mickey and Friends character…yes, the classic Disney characters many of us older people grew up with! There were no Disney Princesses, or Pooh bears or what not, just the simple basic characters of Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Pluto, and Goofy. Put together on a stand, the cupcakes were an interesting substitute to a regular cake     Looking at that cupcake tree got me to thinking about how I tend to take things in as a whole, just like a regular cake. It reminded me that things need not to be so big and grand to be beautiful. As simple as it was, it reminded me not to always take too big a bite at life…that life in bite-size pieces can be just as good. I forget many times that a whole is made up of the sum of it’s parts and that while put together it makes something grand, individually it stands it’s own ground.      A few months ago I was struggling with just that in my life: taking in everything as a big, giant chunk. I started seeing myself only as the totality of all my parts, very much like a puzzle that would only look good if all parts were complete. Every little thing said, done, not said or not done was seen in as one, not itty bitty parts of my reality. As such, it soon became too overwhelming and this ginormous weight soon became much too much to bare.       When things get stuck together, like a three-tiered cake for example, it is difficult to carry, and to move around. Further, it requires so much more effort and commitment to complete and maintain. I suppose it can also be said that in many instances a big cake ends up with more wastage at the end as people tend to slice a piece bigger than intended them it gets thrown out. Cupcakes, on the other hand, are smaller, single-serve sizes that most anyone can finish. As such, it doesn’t get wasted. Similarly, because these pieces are smaller, they’re easy to take along. Until I started seeing things as their own little ‘cupcakes’, I couldn’t make big strides in my emotional growth. Once I did, however, I was able to choose what cupcake to put where and how each cupcake can be put together to make a pretty whole.      The cupcake tree  reminded me of lessons I’ve learned these past few months while struggling to make sense of my reality. With the wisdom and guidance of my wise old crone, I discovered the different bits and pieces that made up the whole me. Much like those cupcakes, each part of me, be it the creative, free-flowing child, the bright and shiny optimist, the dark and twisty single girl, the damsel in distress, the independent woman,or the wisened old soul,  all were important parts of who I am today. Unlike a puzzle, I’d still be okay, but like the cupcake tree, all those parts just make it nicer, not necessarily more ‘whole’.
     The simplicity of the structure, as well as Cara’s mommy’s choice of characters also reminded me that we always need to go back to the basics. And while the basics may not be so cool, or hip, or even interesting, it is something that is essential to the soul. I realized that often times I get caught up in the accessorizing and decorating of my inner and outer selves that I start to lose sight of what is really important.
     Although the cupcakes have found their ways into the hungry tummies of the kids and their equally starving teachers, the lesson of the cupcake tree is staying with me: take life in bite size pieces.

Lessons from the First Day of School

Today was our first day of classes. Oh my golly gumdrop (yes, after two weeeks of struggling with my stubborn, dirty mouth that kept cussing, I finally switched to more kid-friendly language!), it was a major paradigm shift! This year I am teaching the toddlers’ class…yup, 11 two and three year olds!!!
It was not only the kids’ first day of school today, but mine as well. After two years of semi-retirement from the preschool world, it took some readjusting for me to get back in sync with being Teacher Ria. Some lessons and realizations from today are the following:

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My Most Unforgettable Teacher

          There’s a song in my head, it’s been playing like a broken record over and over again. It started when I caught Miley Cyrus singing it on Oprah while I was channel surfing. In the show, she sang the song “I miss you”. In the background was a heart-shaped locket with the photo of her grandfather on it. It had a catchy tune, and it sounded kinda nice, so much as it may seem like such a juvenile song for someone like me, I went and downloaded it and put it on my ipod.

       All this week I listened to it often, specially when I would be stuck in the car on my way to work. Every time I’d hear it, I’d feel a lump form in my throat and tears well-up in my eyes. Today, however, it hit home hard. I missed my lolo so much I could barely see straight.     

     It’s been about a dozen years now since he passed and while the pain of missing him has faded much over the years, there are days, like now, when the sadness is so fresh and raw that it really takes my breath away. At times I wish he were here to see me as I am living out my dreams, and succeeding in so many ways. Even though I knew he wouldn’t see me, when I first lost weight I went to the cemetery to show him how thin I was because that was the one thing I was never able to give him when he was alive. I remember crying so much that day because I wished I could see him smile and tell me “I knew you could do it”.

     Earlier this afternoon my mom was trying to convince me to come and join the family for prayers at his gravesite. I chose not to, even jokingly saying “sabi naman ni lolo don’t bother kasi it’s not like he’ll see me there anyway”. While he did tell me that when I was younger, I used it as an excuse not to go. When she turned around, I told my mom, “and besides, masasad lang naman ako if I go”. So I stayed home and tried to get some work done, but to no avail.

    I then got to thinking about my lolo and how much of a great person he was for me. I have come across a lot of people who have taught me a lot, but a lot of my most important life lessons I learned from him. Though these may be common lessons, or perhaps clichés at times, these are my favorite lessons from him:

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Teacher sa Pinas Po Ako

Yesterday I checked the balance of my ATM account. I had exactly five thousand nine hundred sixty three pesos and sixty centavos. That was it. For a moment, I felt so tiny… almost as tiny as my bank account. Granted I have it better than many of our fellow citizens who are starving and barely making ends meet, I suddenly found myself contemplating my career choice.

I am a proud teacher. Being able to teach children, both young and old, has been such a tremendous blessing to me. It has changed my life in so many ways. Sometimes though, I have to question the practicality of my choice when I am faced with my dwindling bank account. At the end of the day, however, no matter how much I wish I had a bigger paying job, I can’t get myself to leaving the job I have grown to love.

In one of my classes, we discuss career development and awareness. In these sessions, I see how much of our youth envision themselves as earning dollars in the future. What warms my heart, however, is hearing that small minority say they still want to do something for their country. That in itself fans that small flame of hope I hold near and dear to my heart that someday, somehow, our country will become a better place for us to live in, where we can afford to live a good life without needing to work abroad and earn that proverbial dollar.

 
Staying in the Philippines may not be the most sensible decision. In the same breath, teaching may not also be considered to be a practical career choice, especially in comparison to the range of available higher paying jobs out there. But I will stay. I wil stay and draw inspiration from what my very good friend Che simply said once in reference to her decision to become a doctor to the barrio — why not? So as a new school year starts I say with the same conviction WHY NOT?

Now if only my bank account can say the same thing when I ask for more money

Meet the Accidental Teacher

When I started thinking of what my blog would be about, I thought it was clear— it would be the chronicles of an accidental teacher… someone who never planned to be one but inexplicably ended up being a teacher to preschool children and eventually even college undergraduates. The Accidental Teacher’s blog would be filled with classroom tales, insights from students and a list of how-to’s and what-to-do’s.

But as I set up my blog (which incidentally is not easy for a psudo-techie like me!) I started realizing that my Teacher Tales weren’t enough for me.  It dawned on me that often times, I am not just teaching by accident, but learning coincidentally along the way.

With that The Accidental Teacher was born.

• These are the chronicles of a teacher who apparently still has a lot to learn.
• These are the confessions of a clueless teacher who may seem like she knows what she’s doing…but often times finds herself in awe as she hits the mark by sheer luck.
• These are the tales of a teacher who loves what she does, simply because it is who she is.  

So here are my stories of living, loving, learning, and yes, even teaching, all learnt through life’s greatest accidental teacher- circumstance.

See you in class